He described Mormon spouses investing less in our relationships…

I considered myself unpopular at BYU. My hair was very short, kind of a punk rock ‘do with bleached bangs. I often wore tie-dyed jeans and a men’s thrift store blazer with a concert tee underneath. In Pennsylvania, I never had a shortage of guys who were interested in me, including lots I thought were totally out of my league. Men hit on me all the time. Maybe they thought I was easy because I didn’t wear a prayer bonnet. Whatever. When I got to college, I expected this male attention to continue; instead I felt like I disappeared completely.

I have read a few female Mormon memoirs that resonated with my own experience. In Therese Doucet’s A Lost Argument, she describes feeling invisible inside the church, particularly at BYU, and contrasts that with being noticed by men outside the church who had deep discussions with her.

The strangest thing of all, though is that he can see me. I’m invisible to nearly everyone here. I’m used to people’s eyes passing over me as if they saw right through me.

In Elna Baker’s New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance, she talks about her string of failures with Mormon men until she takes the advice from a book her mother was given in the 1970s. Leer más «He described Mormon spouses investing less in our relationships in the here and now» →